Mourning Through Time

Staying true to my original intent behind my writing, my mind today is solely on my Grandpa. I miss him greatly, today. Grief is something that everyone deals with differently, of course, but I seem to always come back around to a feeling of nostalgia and a sadness in February and the cusp of spring. February is when Grandpa passed and is when the NWTF Convention happens. I just know how much fun he would've had seeing everything Nashville has to offer, even though he wasn't much of a big events kind of a guy. I'd love to be able to ask him if he'd ever gone to one before and if he had fun or picked up a call or two. With all of this newly enriched excitement for the coming spring, that of course prompts me to think about our time in the woods together and makes me think about the picture attached. My first fish at 3 years old. Note the date in the bottom right hand corner, "'99 4 29". April 29th would've been square in the middle of Missouri's turkey season. Knowing how important turkey hunting was to him, I know he gave up that day for me, and that alone, knowing how dear the turkey woods are to us that chase 'em, brings so much emotion and thankfulness to my heart. 

I love remembering him. 

Below is the eulogy I wrote after he passed. I make sure to read it every February and Spring. The Remington Nylon 66 can be found in one of two posts on my IG. 

"I’ve really just been looking at these photos and not knowing what to say about this man. The right words to justly describe how amazing he was to me and how influential to me he was, just can’t be properly said. I’ve dreaded this day for so long, but yesterday The Father took you home where you can walk again, talk again, and ride your horses again. Grandpa, you’re the reason I love the outdoors, why I have an appreciation for God’s beauty, and have always been right there to teach me some of the most important lessons I’ve learned. Below is a picture of my first rifle, which was given to me by him. A Remington Nylon 66, that only had but 15 shots through it when he gave it to me. The first year he couldn’t take me turkey hunting, Blake and I were able to call in my first turkey, and take it with Grandpa’s Winchester model 25 12ga, while wearing his boots and turkey vest. You were always the first person I called when I got a turkey, or caught a nice fish. I’ve learned so much because of you that are simply intangible, and any time I’m outside, anytime I see a horse, anytime I eat crappie, anytime I hear that distant gobble echo over the hills, pastures and woods of an early season morning, I’ll be thinking of you, Grandpa. I am so much of who I am because of you, and I’ll always strive to carry on the man you were to me. The last thing you said to me was that you loved me, and I will cherish all of that meaning for as long as I live."